Happy New Year!

A HAPPY NEW YEAR to all our readers, fans and supporters! Perhaps many of you had ventured to the countdown areas for a chance to capture a shot of the amazing display of fireworks (look out for our guide to photographing fireworks, coming soon!). But it’s new year’s day and we are going to take a rain check from talking about all the nitty gritty of photography and post a very interesting and humorous article on work.

“To: All Employees

Dear Staff,
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada sneakers and carrying a Gucci bag we assume that you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

Lunch Breaks:
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average size. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Restroom Use:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the “Chronic Offender” category.”

Imagine that’s the first thing you see in your email when you go back to school/work after the holidays! What a kick in the head! This post is dedicated to bringing a smile on the faces of those who are already suffering from the post holiday blues.

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